Posts Tagged ‘Overheard on Twitter’

Leave Me and My Carbs Alone!

“Do you eat corn bread, cause you got an ass on you.”

I Think You Should Get Tested…

“I put the STD in StuD and all I need is U”

The guy who used this line actually admitted it never worked.

-Overheard on Twitter

…I’d Rather be Dead, Thanks.

“Your eyes are like the cube off Transformers that brings them to life, cause when I look into your eyes, I feel alive.”

Courtesy of ShutUpLaura_ on Twitter

Wish Still Hasn’t Come True

A girl grabbed my ass and said “Happy birthday! Make a wish!” and then punched me in the arm and walked away. It wasn’t my Birthday.

Courtesy of LUISAMEZQUITA from Twitter.

Sew What?

“Are you a tailor? ’cause I’m ripped.”

-Overheard on Twitter

You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

“What has 148 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My Zipper.”

-Overheard on Twitter


getting through the backdoor

Guy to girl:    “Would you give me a VIP pass? I’m lookin’ for a little backstage action.”

- Overheard on Twitter

hopefully not in a library

Guy to girl:    “Baby, I’ll treat you like my homework. I’ll slam you on the table and do you all night long.”

you want to mix me with what?

Guy to girl:    “Girl, you’re so sweet, I can mix you with my Kool-Aid.”

Overheard by @reno419rockstar, thanks!

must have been an English major

Guy to girl:    “ The word of today is legs, so why don’t you come over here and spread the word?”